Podcast

This week on The Dynamics of Everyday Life, Julia takes a psychodynamic look at one iconic Victoria Wood moment: “Don’t bother Ken, I’ll do it myself.”What starts as a funny, familiar line opens into something much deeper. Competence as identity, the fear of relying on other people, resentment, emotional labour, and the strange loneliness that...

When something feels off, most of us don’t trust it. We explain it away. Override it. Or ask everyone else what they think, as if someone else might have better access to what’s going on in our own heads. In this episode, Julia takes a closer look at that hard-to-pin-down sense that something isn’t quite...

Why is it that one small comment can stay with you for days, while everything else disappears? In this episode, Julia explores why certain remarks don’t just land… they linger. What starts as a throwaway comment can quickly turn into something much bigger. Not because of what was said, but because of what it touches....

Some people are just… easy. They don’t mind where you go. They’re happy to fit around everyone else. No fuss. No drama. Sounds ideal, right? In this episode, Julia explores what sits beneath being “easy-going”, and why saying “I don’t mind” isn’t always as simple as it sounds. Because over time, keeping things smooth can...

“I’m fine.” It’s quick, easy… and very rarely the full truth. In this episode, Julia takes a closer look at one of the most common phrases in everyday conversation, and what’s really going on underneath it. From defence mechanisms to social expectations, she explores why we say we’re fine, what we actually mean, and what...

In this episode, Julia takes on the well-worn advice to “be yourself”… and gives it a bit of a reality check. Because while it sounds simple, most of us learnt a long time ago that being ourselves comes with conditions. Some parts of us are welcomed… and some very definitely aren’t. Drawing on psychodynamic thinking...

In this episode, Julia explores the popular phrase “if they wanted to, they would”… and asks whether it’s really as straightforward as it sounds. While acknowledging that behaviour can sometimes be a clear indicator of priorities, she challenges the idea that human actions are ever that simple. Drawing on psychodynamic thinking, Julia looks at how...

We’re told imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But is it? In this episode, Julia explores why imitation doesn’t always feel like a compliment, and what it reveals about how ideas, identity, and influence really work. Drawing on both professional and personal examples, she looks at the difference between repeating an idea and truly...

In this episode Julia explores the quiet competition that sometimes creeps into everyday conversations. You mention you’re tired… someone else is exhausted. You’ve had a busy week… they haven’t stopped all month. Welcome to Elevenerife. In this episode, Julia looks at the subtle one-upmanship that can turn ordinary conversations into contests, and the psychology behind...

Why birthdays can turn perfectly capable adults back into 12 year olds. In this episode, Julia explores the surprisingly powerful psychological dynamics that can surface around something as ordinary as a cake and a few candles. Birthdays are status events. Someone becomes the centre, and in many families that isn’t as neutral as it sounds....