Why Psychodynamic Thinking Matters in Coaching
There are a million and one misconceptions about coaching, and even more when it comes to the world of Psychodynamics. Squish them together and it’s no wonder that people get confused. Worry not, I’m here to help you make sense of it all.
When we begin our coach training we are often desperate to learn exactly how to “do coaching”. What do we need to say and when? How do we get the client from A to B? What tools, models or techniques can we hang on to? And, possibly the thing that gets asked most by students, ‘what is the most powerful question?’. All very understandable, especially in the early days. (Spoiler – there is no such thing as ‘the most powerful question’, just the right question for the client, asked at the right moment).
But – is this coaching approach going to get you and your clients to the good stuff? Is it actually going to enable sustainable change? No, not really. It’s a good start, I’ll give you that. And there absolutely are things that we need to learn how to do in a particular way… we need to know how to begin a session, how to close a session, how to ensure that we stay on track for what the client wants out of the session. But the magic in the middle? Well, that’s where we can either stay nice and comfortable, skating on the surface, or we can explore what’s really going on with the client. Because insight alone is not enough to generate change. If awareness was all that was required, then most clients would be done by session three.
This is where psychodynamics enters the world of coaching.
This isn’t a different model or technique. It’s not about whipping out a PDF with some circles and arrows, maybe a Venn diagram to prove a point. And it’s certainly not getting the client to lie on a sofa facing away from you as they tell you all about their mother.
Psychodynamic coaching starts from the idea that there is always more happening in the room than the conversation alone can explain. How often have you seen clients remaining stuck, with no amount of the GROW model making the slightest difference? Or clients struggling with repeating patterns that are causing them heartache and pain? They know what’s happening isn’t working for them, but they also don’t know how to stop. Maybe clients are reacting in ways that seem disproportionate to the situation that’s in front of them. Where psychodynamics supports the coaching is that it begins with the assumption that human beings are not entirely conscious of what drives them. And once we understand that, then a whole new way of working with the client opens up before us.
This way of thinking gives us a language for understanding unconscious processes, defence mechanisms, repeating patterns, transference and the emotional dynamics that emerge between coach and client. It’s a heady mix. And whether we learn about them or not, they are in the room as we coach, so surely it makes sense for us to have an understanding of what’s at play? The biggest objection I hear at this point is “surely I need to be a therapist to use psychodynamic thinking?’ and here my response is an unequivocal no, you don’t. Even back in the origins of psychodynamic thinking these concepts were always meant for everyone to have access to. The earliest books that Freud wrote had titles such as “The Psychopathology of Everyday Life”, “The Interpretation of Dreams” and “Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious”. Not meant to be hidden away in the lofty spires of academia. Are there moments where we as coaches should be referring on to therapists? Absolutely. But not at the first mention of an emotion.
Perhaps the simplest way to think about psychodynamic coaching is this: it helps us pay attention to what might otherwise be missed. Not because we are trying to analyse our clients. Not because we are trying to become therapists. But because coaching conversations are taking place between human beings, and human beings are rarely as rational, predictable or self-aware as we would like to believe.
Psychodynamic thinking doesn’t replace the foundations of good coaching. It builds on them. It helps us understand why insight doesn’t always lead to change, why certain patterns seem so difficult to shift, and why some moments in coaching feel far more significant than they first appear.
Because sometimes the most important thing happening in a coaching session isn’t what is being said. It’s what is happening underneath it.
And surely you would want to know about that?
